Yeah, discourse about how people's identity or circumstances makes them vulnerable, or powerful/privileged, often doesn't acknowledge lived experience of individuals if it doesn't fit the discourse, and it makes it so hard to talk about those experiences. And not acknowledging individual experience is a lack of empathy, but they do it anyway.

Many of the people who abused me: my mother, my father's mother, my teachers: were women, and I've noticed the way it makes me wary of certain people on first coming across them, and more trusting of others, is to do with age. Girls my age or thereabouts I see as safe, and I assume the worst of older women if I don't already know what they're like.

I assume the worst of men too, due to a different set of experiences.

I'm perceived as harmless, despite all the ways that I know I'm not.

My power fantasy is to be feared, not necessarily that people think I'm strong but that they think I have no societal inhibitions and could do something unpredictable and dangerous. But in practice, in regular life, I try to make myself fade and turn unnoticeable around my family . When I hang out with friends is when I express myself and let myself be seen, and it's because I feel safe to do so.