Oh, but it's so hard to decide!

[malymin]

Things I could be doing:

• Work on new website.
  • Even though I'm not bad at css/html it feels overwhelming...
• Drawing art. Like literally any art.
• Write Princess Tutu fanfic.
  • I still need to find beta readers, though.
  • Still unsure of whether or not to "split off" already published fic chapters into seperate fics.
• Write Princess Tutu meta.
  • I have a big one on the characters' color coded associations still unfinished.
  • But I also want to do one on "what we know and can deduce about the contents of Prinz und Rabe."
  • And a platonic!Mythiru manifesto, since the state of even acknowledging them as friends in the fandom is dire...
• Finish reading The Light Eaters
  • I'm so close to done why did I stop...
• Start The Neverending Story.
• Watch any number of anime I've been meaning to get around to since high school.
  • Wolf's Rain. Evangelion. Haibane Renmei. Serial Experiments Lain. et cetera
  • At least I was able to get around to FMA 03 and Utena?

What I've been doing:

• editing the colors of images found via search engine queries for "dragons" "magical girls" "sparkledogs" etc for hours
• blue is the easiest for me to work with. I don't know how to articulate it but blue is often one of the best starting points
• I'm constantly rotating colors in my mind's eye but have a hard time finding good "fodder" images.
• This is why I should be just drawing and scanning pictures to use. Why am I not doing that.

Comments

[sewagelag00n]

smiles while wearing a shirt that says “Ask me about Evangelion and Utena”

[malymin]

Weeeeeeell, what is it you want to tell me? ʕ•ᴥ• ʔ

[sewagelag00n]

Well they’re just So Fucking Good

i’m planning on rewatching utena this upcoming week. i definitely need a rewatch to let it all sink in but it irreversibly changed the way i engage with media i think. now i think in terms of rose brides and princes

as for evangelion it like changed my entire damn life. i watched it in my sophomore year of high school and the messsge really hit hard. then i ended up meeting my current long term gf through it and we watched eoe in theaters during the limited run :)

[malymin]

Oh I've already watched Utena a few years ago! It's easier for me to get around to watching media if it's with a friend so that's what I did. Very rich show; I think Anthy is one of the most compelling "messy abuse victims" I've seen in fiction. Unfortunately I do kind of feel like I'm "too stupid" (and unaware of broader cultural contexts beyond the obvious "it's about misogyny") to analyze it well...

Not that "the fandom has already been doing analysis for longer than I've been here" is stopping this guy. Honestly, I wish I had his confidence.

I do feel like it might be too late for Evangelion to have that effect on me... do you think it's worth watching anyways?

[sewagelag00n]

Don’t worry, I did have to have a fair bit of Utena and Evangelion both hexplained to me…

Please watch it! It raises many interesting points about the nature of human connection and the inherent risk associated with attachment; surely a tug-of-war that all of us have hexperienced at some point. This aspect might actually be even better appreciated with some more life hexperience (relative to when *I* watched it, anyway).

That, and Evangelion actually has more to do with fandom than you might think—specifically anime otaku, but its message is fan-coded. You’ll see what I mean…

[malymin]

You don't need to be coy, I'm thoroughly spoiled on the fact that Evangelion has heavy themes regarding Anno's feelings on human connection and the hedgehog's dilemma, on anime otaku culture, etc. and have literally sat down and let friends infodump to me about it. Much of the show's narrative and thematic content is already something I'm spoiled for from 20+ years of osmosis...

It's just... I'm the kind of person who can spend 5 hours procrastinating on getting a bowl of ice cream that I want to eat. Even when things are low-effort and high reward, its difficult to make myself do them.

[sewagelag00n]

Oops! Sorry for assuming, LOL. I should have known given just how insanely popular NGE is.

Very, very relatable, though. At this point, I am struggling to read a single book whatsoever… I feel really bad and slightly pathetic over basically being illiterate.

The only thing that gets me to intake new media is watching shows/movies with my friends. Like, I really only watched shows like Pantheon, Ranma 1/2, Apocethary Diaries, and more because I was watching them with my parents.

Actually, I watched NGE with my parents!! They’re from Hong Kong and watched a Cantonese dub of it as teenagers, so they wanted to revisit it with me. I don’t think they fully remembered how crazy and fucked up it was, though…. we were all sitting there shell-shocked during the credits of EoE.